My son has a large penis (now with stats!)

Reading through my blog stats, I found that the majority of visitors aren’t coming to hear about which Belgian beer I fancy or where I want to get my next pizza. Rather, they’re coming from a google search for my son has a large penis, which brings unsuspecting surfers to one of my all time favourite Flemish television sketches: This is my son, and he has a very large penis!.

For reference, the dutch word for penis is penis, or Lid (literal translation ‘member’), as it is referred to in the sketch.

Computer Lesson in West Flemish

This week is back to work week for most Flemings, and as such this may be of use to at least two of my readers: late 90s computer terminology in West Flemish.

Just what every Ghentleman needs!

  • Windows 98:
    Routte 98 (ah en ne-heh-de)
  • Turn computer on:
    Steg maar aan (1:10)
  • Backspace:
    ker e ke weere (1:30)
  • Print:
    Dru-en (means to print, but also to poo!) (2:14)
  • Hard disk:
    harder ploder (hard surface) (2:25)
  • Shut down:
    Je mucha mullon (literally translates to ‘Keep your mouth shut!’) 2:30

Now that that is done, I’m taking the week off to go Skiing! See ya suckers!

West Flemish

There’s Flanders and there’s there’s West Flanders, just as there’s Flemish and West Flemish, a beautifully cute dialect of Dutch that even after four years of study is still a complete mystery.

Where-ever possible words are changed, warped and mumbled, and grammar reversed a few hundred years. All G’s are pronounced as H’s, which makes words like geld (money) and held (hero) orally equivalent.

The above video comes from an old Flemish television show, and documents the protest of a West Fleming over four weeks, complaining about how the West Flemings are always subtitled on Flemish television. The video concludes with the Flemish broadcaster stopping with their subtitling ways, and instead moving on to overdubs instead.

This all reminds me of the first time I saw an Australian subtitled in an American program, at first it felt quite odd – however when I compare the situation to West Flemish I am ever so thankful that I am able to understand even a little from the written text!

Of the 1.6 million people that speak West Flemish, at least one has taken the time to write over 4000 articles on the West Flemish wikipedia. How about that.