Gent Festival is over, time to sleep

Yesterday the gent festival came to a close after a solid two weeks of city wide drinking.

This is the first year I’ve actually been in the city for the entire duration of the festival – and I must say I was quite overwhelmed by the pace these Belgians set. Drinking starts at around 10am on a Thursday, and doesn’t stop for a full 11 days and nights. There was a rave outside my house every night from 10pm until 10am, fueled solely on car speakers and who-knows-what-party-substances.

Right now I have some sleep to try and find, whilst the rave is quiet. Arrrgh.

The Netherlands, the World Cup and Free Blow Jobs?

In many ways The Belgians look to Dutch in the same way New Zealanders looks to Australians or Canadians looks to Americans – pessimistic annoyance, with a tinge (very, very slight tinge) of jealousy. The Dutchies have bigger toys, louder voices and during football season, much brighter uniforms. Belgians sigh – The Dutch just seem to have it all.

And yesterday they had even more – the whole centre of Gent was awash with orange, as Belgium came to realization that if they don’t support Netherlands, they’ve got the choice of Spain or Germany, two nations still scourned upon for their recent (in modern terms) invasions.

I saw orange pointer hands, orange hair, orange underpants on the outside of orange pants, orange tinted beer, orange oranges, though in true form I left my orange camera at home so you’ve got nothing but a bunch of internet highlights of the magnificent game between the Netherlands and Uruguay that occupied much of my fair town.

However all of this ‘jealous pessismism’ might be absolute crap, as I have read that the Dutch porn star ‘Bobbi Eden’ promises to give all of her Twitter followers gobbys if the Netherlands win the final this Sunday:

She tweeted: “If Netherlands wins the #worldcup I will give a BJ to all my followers, together with @vickvette @misshybrid @gabbyquiteros 4952 and counting

Oh The Netherlands, the things you do to make my dear Belgium blush!

This is my son, and he has a very large penis (Flemish television)

If you know of any women ‘deep enough’ for this poor woman’s son, please contact your nearest Flemish embassy.

Belgium is counting on you!

“This is my son luke
He has a problem with relationships with women
Because his penis is too big.
The doctor said so! And I saw it, it is big.
And now we are searching this way for a woman who is.. too deep..
Son: “or deep enough?”
Yes, or deep enough. Yes. To then.. you know. Yes.
Thank you.”